So, as of right now I should be sitting in a ball room in my ASU’s for a military ball that I have spent the last month planning, but unfortunately due to the snow that my university got on Thursday and Friday it was cancelled. At first I was pretty upset. I mean I had spent hours upon hours planning and getting things ready. All this time wasted. As time went on though and the sting of the hurt went away I realized things happens and I can’t change the weather.
So instead of being at this military ball I am sitting infront of my laptop trying to write a paper that I have absolutely no interest in. I have been trying to force myself to write, but no matter what I do I cannot for the life of me focus long enough to work on this paper. I have until tomorrow at midnight to complete it.
Instead of doing my paper, I am instead on Tumblr and listening to music and basically being super moody today. I’m in this weird mood where I am lonely and want a “prince charming” but I know that will never happen because all the guys I meet these days are ignorant swag fags that cannot hold an intelligent conversation very long if at all. I mean I love being able to talk to people about things that matter. I hate when conversations fall into a sort of rut where you’re asking the same things over and over and it’s the same basic answers. That’s boring. I want something interesting to talk about. I don’t care if I come off as wrong in a conversation as long as I learn something new.
Hell, I am crazy about the fact that with some people we do not have to fill every second with conversation. Sometimes we just sit there without saying anything for a few minutes and just enjoy each others company. I love that. It’s better than filling every single second with some kind of noise that is meaningless.
Anyways, I suppose I better get back to “working” on my essay. Chances are I’ll end up surfing Tumblr or Facebook within 20 minutes.
So the other day I was catching up with my friend and he asked what I’ve been doing lately. I replied with, “Oh you know, I hanging out at home and try not to shoot myself in the face.” It was after I said that that I realized how bad that sounded and I was really glad he knew me well enough to know I don’t actually have suicidal tendencies like that.
So, last night I was hanging out with a guy. He’s fairly cute and I love that he is intelligent, even if he is pretty scatter-brained.
My biggest problem arises in the fact that he is in a program with me, and earlier this year I made a personal rule where I said i would not date anyone within this program. He is really making me question that rule because I don’t really talk to anyone outside of the program, plus he is an amazing guy who I could talk to for hours without being bored. Hell, the few times we’ve hung out he’s had my undivided attention to the point of I never once pulled out my phone. In fact, last night I left my phone in my car. He is the same way. When we are talking we give each other our undivided attention, which these days is an amazing thing. Most people I know when they’re hanging out with someone they both still have their phones and will check them fairly often. I am guilty of this as well, but with him it’s different and I am beginning to think I should give him a chance and I am thinking about telling that even though last night I told him about my rule to stay away from people in the program.
I’d think even if it doesn’t work out that we would end it on good term and it wouldn’t affect anything. However, I have no idea if that would be the case and that’s what worries me. I have a year and a half left in this program and if it doesn’t work then I have to deal with him in this program and I dunno how much that will affect things…
I should be writing a book review, but instead I am listening/singing along to music and on media sites…